WELCOME
THE THIRD SEASON OF JOKE TIME IS BACK!
THIS TIME....
JOKES.....
MORE FUNNIER
MORE JOKES.......
READ ON................


1)The huge lion was stalking proudly through the jungle when he came upon a leopard.
'Leopard!' snarled the lion menacingly, 'who is the King of the Jungle?'
'You are, Lion!' said the leopard nervously, and slunk away.
Further down the jungle path the lion met a monkey.
'Raaaarrrrgh!' roared the lion.
'Monkey! Who is the King of the Jungle?'
'Oh, you are, Lion,' said the monkey, cowering away.
Then the lion confronted an elephant.
'Elephant!' commanded the lion, 'who is the King of the Jungle?'
Without a word the elephant picked up the lion in his trunk and hurled him against a tree.
He then picked up the lion again and slammed him down on the ground a few more times before throwing the half-dead lion into a thick bramble patch.
'All right, all right!' mumbled the bleeding, battered lion, 'no need to get cross just because you don't know the answer!'
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2)Two hunters from Moscow charter a small plane to fly them to Siberia to go bear hunting.
On landing, the pilot says, “Remember, this plane can only fly with two hunters, one pilot, and ONE bear.”
The hunters go out and return with two bears.
So the pilot says, “I told you ONE bear!”
But the hunters point out that the previous year, on payment of an extra 100 rubles, the pilot had let them put two bears on board.
After long discussion centering on the impossibility of the thing and the disgraceful degree of inflation, the pilot takes 200 rubles and with much pushing and shoving the hunters get aboard with the two bears.
After struggling into the air and fitfully flying for about two hours, the plane gives up and plummets to the earth in a snowbank.
Climbing out from under the snow and the bears, the hunters ask the pilot where he thinks they are.
The pilot says, “About the same place where we crashed last year.”

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3)The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.
The President decides to give them a test.
He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in.
They place animal informants throughout the forest.
They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies.
The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
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4)A young executive is working late one evening.
As he comes out of his office about 8pm, he sees the Big Boss standing by the shredder in the hallway with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Do you know how to work this thing?" the older man asks.
"My secretary's gone home and I don't know how to run it."
"Yes sir," said the young executive who turns on the machine, takes the paper from his hand and feeds it in.
"Now," says his boss, "I just need one copy..."

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5)A very rich lawyer is approached by a man.
The man is concerned that the lawyer made over $1,000,000.00 last year but didn't donate even a cent to a charity.
"First of all", says the lawyer, "my mother is sick and dying in the hospital, and it's not covered by healthcare. Second, I had five kids through three divorced marriages. Third, my sister's husband suddenly died and she has no one to support her four children..."
"I'm terribly sorry", says the United Way man, "I feel bad about asking for money."
The Lawyer responds, "Yeah, well if I'm not giving them any money, why should I give you any?"

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SEASON III JOKE TIME THE END

JOKE TIME: EPISODE II !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WELCOME BACK TO JOKE TIME.........
PLEASE CATCH EVERY EPISODE OF JOKE TIME TO READ ALL THE JOKES........
THANK YOU

TODAY'S JOKE NO.1

1)A girl ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family, "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"
"What is it? her sisters asked eagerly.
Proudly she replied, "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"
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2)A lecturer teaching medicine was giving a class on 'Observation'.
He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid.
"This", he explained,"is urine. To be a good doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight and taste."
After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth.
His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust.
But being the students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped one finger into the jar and then put it into their mouth.
After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my 2nd finger into the jar and my 3rd finger into my mouth."
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3)One day a guy decided to visit an old friend's grave.
He pickedup some flowers to put on the grave as a show of respect.
He entered the grave and put the flowers on the grave of his departed friend when he noticed another guy putting a beer on the grave of his friend.
The guy thought this was rather amusing.
He shouted over to the other "Hey, when do you think your buddy's going to come up drink his beer!"
The guy man shouted back, "The same time that your friend comes up to smell his flowers !!!!!"

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THE END

JOKE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HERE ARE SOME JOKES I HEARD.......
UNCENSORED.....
CLEAN ONES.....
HAHA

1) Johnny was an 8-year old in remedial class.
One day his teacher asked him a question. "Johnny, if there are five crows on a fence and the farmer shoots one, how many are left?".
"None." comes the reply.
"Sorry Johnny, but that's wrong. Think again".
"None, miss." is the reply once again.
"Could you explain please, Johnny?" asked the bemused teacher.
"Okay," agrees Johnny, "he shoots one and there is blood and guts everywhere. So the others fly off terrified."
"Well that's not exactly the answer I was looking for, the answer is four. But I do like the way you were thinking." remarked the teacher.
"Could I ask you a question, miss?" asked Johnny.
"Certainly, Johnny."
"Three woman are walking down the road. One is licking an ice lolly, one is sucking an ice lolly and the other is biting an ice lolly. Which one is married?"
The teacher ponders the question for a few moments then replies, "The one licking the ice lolly!" she answers."No," retorts Johnny, "the one wearing the wedding ring. But I do like the way you were thinking."



2)HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"
HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?"
CUSTOMER: "Huh? How do I know?"
HELPLINE: "There's a little guage on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from 'E' to 'F.' Where is the needle pointing?"
CUSTOMER: "It's pointing to 'E.' What does that mean?"
HELPLINE: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor, and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you."
CUSTOMER: "What!? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!"

3)"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?""They disappeared.""Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV."
"Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know.""Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
".......Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
"....... Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach it."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
" Why not?"
"Because there's a power failure."
"A power... A power failure? Okay,do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

THE END

I AM BACK......

LONG TIME SINCE I LAST BLOGGED..........
HMM...........
LAST WEEK THURSDAY GOT PSLE RESULTS.......
ABOUT THE SCORE......IT IS .......
SRY...
NO COMMENTS..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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I'VE BEEN TRYING OUT SOME PROGRAMS........

AND TOOK A PICTURE OF MY GAMEBOY GAME.......






LOOKS CLEAR......RIGHT



THAT'S BECAUSE OF MY EXPERTISE IN PHOTOGRAPHY.....

JUST JOKING......

HAHAHA

THAT IS POKEMON LEAF GREEN VERSION....



I HAVE A NARUTO ONE.....

NICE,RIGHT.....

HAHAHAHA